Confidence
When I Meet Big Shots, I Don't Get Nervous (Anymore)
Last week was NY Climate Week — the biggest week of networking for me with my recruitment consultancy. A huge percentage of my potential clients are in NYC to talk shop.
My main goal being there is to land new clients. Yes, that often means catching up with old contacts as well as meeting up with new ones.
This was my third year attending NY CW. But something was very different for me this time around. Especially when I contrast it to last year.
Last year, I was about 5 months into running my own recruitment firm. I had landed a large contract worth about $95k. So, I was making progress. I had enough work.
But the feeling of inadequacy was still there inside of me. When I’d see a big shot founder or fund manager with billions under management, I’d get nervous and self-conscious about how to approach them.
Not this year.
This year, in those same rooms as last year, I was calm as a cucumber. This, despite the people I met this year being an even bigger deal than those I met last year. But now I just talk to them as an equal. I don’t feel inferior in any way.
I spent a bit of time trying to figure out why this was the case.
I think it comes down to confidence.
This year, I’m 18 months into running my business. I did about $140k in revenue last year. This year should be around double that. But it’s not actually about the money (not entirely).
It’s about the fact that I have everything I’ve ever wanted personally.
I’m married to an incredible wife. I have a beautiful daughter. I work for myself. My bills are paid. I get to go to Mass every day. I have time for the people in my life who matter. And no one can truly tell me what to do with my life.
Having the bills paid is the money part that is nice. But having more than what I have now? What more would it do for me? Of course, I could spend more, be more generous, have some nicer things, yada yada. But it wouldn’t fundamentally change the state of “bills paid”.
In many ways, I’m actually more free than these other big shots.
Some of them still have a boss. Sure, maybe they manage a multi-billion-dollar fund and get paid 7 figures a year. But they might still have a boss. If not a boss, at least a bunch of investors that can influence them a bit.
For any of those who are running their own show, we are on the same level. If they had to make major family sacrifices to get where they are, I’m ahead again.
But the point is — having this business has ‘bought me’ confidence. And I’m super grateful for it.
It’s worth noting that I don’t take credit for this. God is the reason I am where I am.
So many times I’ve had a new client come out of nowhere. In several instances, I had too much work to manage and some of it would magically disappear. Amazing.
Intellectually, I fully acknowledge that God is taking care of me and He will always.
Emotionally, I sometimes forget this and get anxiety. But whenever I’m using my logic, I know He has my back.
And I don’t mean I know I’ll always have this much money. It’s fully possible that He could take it away from me.
But because I’m trying my best to put Him first and I work hard, I know He will take care of me and give me what He desires me to have.
The amount of gratitude I have in my heart for this incredible life I have is hard to describe. God is so good to all of us. We just fail to recognize it most of the time.
So, to gain confidence, don’t focus on external accomplishments, focus on building the life you want — the life where on a week-to-week basis, you get to spend time doing the things you care about.
As a final note, having this contentment doesn’t mean I’m not going to keep working hard. I do want to continue building this business bigger. But I’m not going to beat myself up because I didn’t hit $600k this year. Again, my bills are paid, I get to play with my daughter every day, I have time for prayer and God every day, and I don’t have a boss or HR telling me how to live my life.
So yes, I will keep working hard to build, but I refuse to be upset because I have less money than someone else.
If you are going through something like this, please feel free to reach out. I’d love to chat through this in more detail with you and give you my two cents.